Most people want to be good parents. In the midst of an acrimonious divorce however, couples often disagree about who the better parent is and what is in the best interest of the kids. When couples reach an impasse the court may step and appoint a child custody evaluator to make a professional determination. Having a stranger evaluate your parenting skills is a nerve wracking process. Experts say there are things you can do to present yourself in the best possible light.
The first thing to remember is that the individual assessing your situation is a professional. She is not going to be your new best friend or confidant. She does not want to hear tearful confessions and won't take your side against your partner. Evaluators are independent professionals. It's their business to make unbiased assessments of family dynamics. The best thing you can do is to behave as professionally as the individual evaluating you.
Honesty is the best policy. If you try to lie to the evaluator it will harm your case. These are trained professionals who are used to observing parents under stress. The excuse of nervousness will not sway a judge if the evaluation report contains information that you exaggerated or tried to skew the truth to work in your favor. It's a much better idea to be open, honest, and above board.
You should never go into a meeting unprepared. You must be sure you do everything in your power to be on time for meetings. If a meeting is scheduled in the assessor's office, and you don't know where it is located, you have to find out before the day of the meeting. You need to set out early in case of traffic jams and filled parking lots. It is a great idea to take some notes in the meeting.
When a home visit is scheduled, you have to make sure your house is spic and span. You do not want the evaluator to look around and wonder if your dirty house is representative of the way you are raising your children. If children's academic and medical records have been requested, be sure you have them ready and put together in an organized fashion.
Remember that the evaluator's first responsibility is to consider what is in the children's best interest. She is not there to make a judgment about your marital situation. If you are asked your opinion about the parenting skills of your partner, you must answer politely and thoughtfully. Someone who turned out to be a bad husband or wife can still be a great parent.
It is very important to be as cooperative as you possibly can during this process. You should provide all documentation requested promptly and in full. The assessor may ask you to provide contact information for family members and friends who can give insight into the family dynamic.
Having your parenting skills evaluated is stressful and awkward. Evaluators are aware of this and make allowances for it. It's up to you to be cooperative, informative, polite, and honest however.
The first thing to remember is that the individual assessing your situation is a professional. She is not going to be your new best friend or confidant. She does not want to hear tearful confessions and won't take your side against your partner. Evaluators are independent professionals. It's their business to make unbiased assessments of family dynamics. The best thing you can do is to behave as professionally as the individual evaluating you.
Honesty is the best policy. If you try to lie to the evaluator it will harm your case. These are trained professionals who are used to observing parents under stress. The excuse of nervousness will not sway a judge if the evaluation report contains information that you exaggerated or tried to skew the truth to work in your favor. It's a much better idea to be open, honest, and above board.
You should never go into a meeting unprepared. You must be sure you do everything in your power to be on time for meetings. If a meeting is scheduled in the assessor's office, and you don't know where it is located, you have to find out before the day of the meeting. You need to set out early in case of traffic jams and filled parking lots. It is a great idea to take some notes in the meeting.
When a home visit is scheduled, you have to make sure your house is spic and span. You do not want the evaluator to look around and wonder if your dirty house is representative of the way you are raising your children. If children's academic and medical records have been requested, be sure you have them ready and put together in an organized fashion.
Remember that the evaluator's first responsibility is to consider what is in the children's best interest. She is not there to make a judgment about your marital situation. If you are asked your opinion about the parenting skills of your partner, you must answer politely and thoughtfully. Someone who turned out to be a bad husband or wife can still be a great parent.
It is very important to be as cooperative as you possibly can during this process. You should provide all documentation requested promptly and in full. The assessor may ask you to provide contact information for family members and friends who can give insight into the family dynamic.
Having your parenting skills evaluated is stressful and awkward. Evaluators are aware of this and make allowances for it. It's up to you to be cooperative, informative, polite, and honest however.
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